Last weekend I spotted an app which had nice fonts for photos, including the days of the week. I used this on the Sunday while I was writing my 'How are you feeling?' blog. It was great to feel I had the energy to focus on writing outside of work again. For a while now, Sundays have been about recovering from the week before and resting up for the week about to start. It was great feeling I could achieve something and not make myself ill in the process.
Monday rolled around and after a cheeky lie in due to my day starting closer to home, I was off to a meeting. It was quite exciting to be out and about somewhere different. It was just a work meeting in town, not hugely glamorous but it was also one of the few times I've been somewhere other than my office or my house for the last few months so it still felt pretty significant to me and I wanted to share it. The fact it was such a bright sunny day was an added bonus!
After that, I just kept going. This wasn't a planned way to reflect on the week but I'm glad it turned out that way. Tuesday was a struggle. I was off to a very slow start; was fatigued and my legs were sore. It was a day I had to ask for help with small things like getting a glass of water because the office kitchen seemed very far away (it's not). Luckily my colleagues get it and are happy to help. A few noticed I was not at my best and made sure I didn't push myself. I did seem to get a bit of a break from the fatigue towards the end of the day and watched the final episode of Doctor Fosters at my friend's house (a midweek night out - check me!). This was great but after how I'd felt for most of the day I was still nervous about what the rest of the week would bring.
I had booked Wednesday off, as I have done for the last few weeks, offering me a midweek breather, a chance to recover from Monday/Tuesday and get ready for Thursday/Friday. I lay in, enjoyed a late breakfast and a snapchat video chat with my friend in New Zealand. I spent the rest of the morning back in bed reading or writing and just taking it easy really. Then after a yummy bowl of mushroom soup (my favourite) I felt I needed to sleep, so I did, for about 4 hours. I'm not sure at what point a nap becomes a sleep but this definitely felt like a sleep to me, a much needed one! I felt kinda tired the rest of the evening but a visit from my mum kept my spirits up.
Thursday was a good day. Got lots done at work and felt pretty much like myself throughout the day. It was bright and sunny outside and the view from my office window helped me feel upbeat. It was great to have had a third full day at work under my belt and I even managed to nip into a shop on the way home. It wasn't for long but was probably a bit too much if I'm honest and think if I'd just gone straight home I'd have probably had a better evening. As it was, I still felt okay. Not great, but okay and trust me, feeling okay at this point in the week is pretty bloody great!
Friday, I'd made it! A full(ish) week at work, albeit with a carefully planned rest break in the middle. Boom! I was so happy that not only did I make it but I wasn't feeling utterly done when I got home. A friend was popping over for dinner on Friday and I decided to brave the supermarket on the way home to pick up a couple of things. Again, this was more draining that it should have been but definitely something I could manage. I had a rest for about an hour when I got home, I might have even napped, I'm not entirely sure. Then, with some help from my friend I made a lovely dinner, had a great long blether and even a wee glass of wine!
Saturday was a quiet day at home. My friend had stayed over so it was a nice excuse to have a proper brekkie at the table, almond croissants and a big pot of tea. Nice! The rest of the day was pretty much lots of rest broken up with mini naps. Other than doing the dishes I didn't really do much. Instead I read a little, messed about on social media a lot and generally lazed about on the sofa looking out the window at the sunny day and admiring my new yellow plant, a bright and cheery pressie from my friend. I also decided to give myself something to look forward to/aim for and booked tickets to go to see my favourite podcast on tour next March.
And that brings us back to today. I woke feeling rested, not something I feel often at the moment despite the amount of time I spend sleeping. There have been lots of signs of improvement this week and I feel I've also moved forward emotionally, feeling stronger, more positive and more hopeful. I do believe that the blog I wrote last weekend helped with this. It helped me start to sort out a lot of stuff in my head and get me back on track a little emotionally. I also know that the biggest reason I saw some improvements last week is the fact that I have been resting so much, I have been listening to my body and I have been making the changes in my day to day life that I have needed to make.
I can't stop doing these things after just one good week, nor can I allow myself to get too carried away with the feeling I'm getting better.. just yet. Yes I need to celebrate the steps forward but I also need to keep doing what I've been doing, as hard as that may be, when all I want to do is get back to how I was before and get out and about again. I need to remember that one good week doesn't mean I'm all better and the hard work and emotional roller coaster is over. This week coming has no guarantees attached to it and I need to calm my excitement (just a little) so I'm not crushed the next time I have a bad day or week.
One step at a time is fine with me, just keeping my fingers, toes and everything else crossed those steps continue heading in the right direction!
Seven little days can make a really big difference, if you want to see how I get on, you can follow me on #myday instagram posts.
Hope you all have a great week,
Love, Barnet x